So what am I doing blogging on my birhtday???

I have been so moved by all the good wishes from around the world and wanted to express my gratitude.

It’s been a year of so much change. Many of us resist change, and I am with ya. But I knew that this year, in order to have more life, change was not a choice. I tried to convince myself otherwise, but in the end, truth and authenticity won out.

I changed my business, some of my relationships, the choice of where to live, and some clients as well. I changed my hairstyle, my style of eating, my exercise habits, and I feel like my life has expanded so much.

My years are more but I feel younger, healthier and more energetic than ever. My friendships are deeper, my connections with colleagues richer, love has come from unexpected places, and my bank account is healthier.

Life is good.

One more person to be grateful for is my canine love, Baxter. Here he is. Can you think of anything more to be grateful for than this face??

Have a fabulous Friday the 13th.

For many years, my colleagues and bosses told me I was stubborn.  I had some pretty big blind spots 

My tendency was to do things the hard way vs. the easy way. What was the hard way? Resist what I knew needed to be done, resist learning what I knew needed to be learned, resist change. After a lot of banging my head agains alot of walls, I EVENTUALLY surrendered and did the right things. Why didn’t I just stop resisting and do these things right from the get go? I guess I am just garden-variety human where it’s so much “easier” to continue on in the way things are. How foolish, inaccurate, and fruitless this thinking is.

We are constantly being given the opportunity to move forward, yet we resist. What have I learned?

What we resist will persist. (and these things that persist are almost always what we don’t want in our lives.)

So here are the top things I resisted when I began my business, what I let go of , and how releasing them transformed my business and my life:

I resisted:

1. Giving up my job and career in the underwear industry.

Transformation: I let go of the 6 figure job and created a life and a business not only filled with purpose but generated financial results significantly superior to those in my J.O.B.

2. Telling clients the hard truth.

Transformation: Telling clients the truth about what I saw in the way they are approaching and dealing with things had them break through blocks, gain awareness and results they never thought possible. And it attracted a much higher caliber of client to me as well, clients I feel enriched and gratified working with.

3. Picking up the phone, inviting people to work with me.

Transformation:  Sometimes that phone feels like 500 pounds. I used to resist picking it up. When I stopped resisting and starting reaching out, asking people about what was happening in their business, and inviting people to learn more about how I could help them, a funny thing happened! My business mutliplied

4. Getting an in-depth education in online marketing.

Transformation: I resisted getting a solid education in online marketing for a number of years. I knew it would require a time, energy, and money investment. Then I just stopped resisting and went on a path of learning and implementing, getting the coaching and knowledge I needed to bring my business into the 21st century.  What a transformation! This has led to completely transforming my business from a trading – hours – for – dollars model to a multi-stream high level business. I am so glad I did this work and now I can help my clients put these tools into place in their businesses as well.

5. Upgrading my network – “networking up”

Transformation:  By summoning up my courage and determination, giving up fear about looking foolish or not-good-enough, I started networking with higher level executives, professionals, and entrepreneurs. The result? I was able to introduce all my clients and prospects to desirable people, I gained value for them, and much better business came my way. I also learned so much from people who are up to a much bigger game.

6. Launching programs before they were 100% perfect.

Transformation: Colin Powell said it best: 80% is good enough. So now I am able to delivery and launch more, offer more, accomplish more in a shorter period of time. I launch first, tweak later. It all works out. He who waits til everything is perfect delays success.

7. Having difficult conversations.

Transformation: I closed more business, worked with more motivated people, and dealt with a lot less crap from people.

8. Giving up my desire to have people like me.

Transformation: Who doesn’t like people liking them? That’s all well and good, but needing to have people like  you will taint all your actions and decisions. Now I check in with my integrity, motives, and most of all my purpose. If I am living on purpose, having people “like” me falls way down on the list. Living the truth and on purpose is what it’s all about and has brought me much greater personal and professional wealth.

These days, the temptation to resist still comes up; I just recognize it sooner and give it up faster.

I’ve had alot of emails from people who are in corporate or company positions who are facing the loss of a job or deeply want to leave their job but fear being able to make a living in their own business.

Many are earning six figure salaries or multi-six figure salaries plus the benefits, and sometimes  nice perks and bonuses, that go along with these salaries. It is difficult to walk away from this kind of security, right?

Well, I ask them, “How much security do you really have? Is it possible that your company might restructure, or eliminate your position? Will your company be bought or will your firm be merged? How solid financially is your company or your department?”

Recently, I had a conversation with a long-time colleague and former client. During our chat, it came out!

He had ALWAYS wanted to have his own thing, his own business but never had the courage to give up the sure salary he had to go off on his own. Now he is in his mid-50′s and he knows he’s going no further in his company. The handwriting is on the wall – someone younger is going to be promoted over him. What’s next for him in this position? Not much.

But what stops most of us from living our dream? Or from not taking action soon enough in our career.

That four letter word: FEAR.

We fear that we won’t be able to make a living. We fear we don’t have anything to offer outside of our position.

We fear that we’re not good enough, or strong enough, or don’t have the right degrees.

What’s really stopping YOU?

If I waved a magic wand over you right now and guaranteed you would replace your six figure salary (or 6 figure salary) within a year, what would you do about your career?

I was there, so I truly understand.

There are three things to do:

1. Make a DECISION – no kidding and no retreat

2. Take stock of what you love to do and what you’re excellent at (this often requires the outside input of a great mentor or coach because often we are not able to be objective).

3. Don’t think, act. This means you start wherever you are and you begin on putting some ideas into action. You can always course correct. Too often we want to write perfect business plans. Do you know what happens with 95% of business plans? That’s right they sit on the shelf gathering dust.

You do need your idea and strategy, but much more important is your decision and desire to make this change in your life, and really stay with it no matter what.

The world could be missing out on your brilliant idea, product or service. Life is not a dress rehearsal, as they say.

You really have your next six-figure life waiting for you, only this time you can’t get a pink slip.

The last couple of weeks or so, I’ve had a hunch, a feeling that working with someone wasn’t quite right.

While I really admire this person – smart, successful, magnetic, I’ve noticed some chinks in the package – some  off-hand remarks, some shooting-from-the-hip decisions, a little too much arrogance in answers.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but I felt as though there was something a bit sloppy, messy, about the prospect of working together.  I noticed I wasn’t eagerly anticipating and looking forward to our every conversation.

I discussed this with a trusted colleague. My colleague said: “What does your intuition tell you?”

I know about intuition and how powerful it can be – intellectually. But I am usually a pros & cons column maker, weighing each column against the other to make a logical choice.

In “The America We Deserve”, Donald Trump said,  “I’ve built a multi-billion empire by using my intuition”.  Oprah Winfrey has been quoted as saying “My business skills have come from being guided by my inner self – my intuition”.  And Bill Gates, one of the most influential business masters of our era has attributed some his decision making to: “Sometimes, you have to rely on intuition”.

A friend of mine was buying a car. He did tons of research, watched all the cars on the road to see what he liked, didn’t like. He test drove dozens. He did a pros/cons list.

He test drove the new Hundai Sonata and loved the look, ride, etc. The salesman wanted him to make a deal fast.  Something told him to take some time to think about it. Something told him not to buy right away. On the way home, he noticed a white pre-owned Infitini G35 on a dealer lot.  He stopped, went in, test drove it and fell in love. He spent less, loved the car and the ride more than the Hundai, and got his mid-life luxury car to boot. Intuition led him to the right car.

How do you access your intuition? It takes becoming quiet and listening. This is not so easy to do these days when we are bombarded by stimuli morning til night – family, blackberries, email, voice mail, etc. There’s so little opportunity to just listen to our inner voice.  Very often, we are not trusting our inner voice. For some of us, our inner voice comes to us in our dreams.

I have begun listening to my inner voice again, my intuition. Trusting my intuition is about trusting me and that I have a deep inner knowing what is right for me.  Sometimes that intuition comes to me through the words of another – I completely resonate with that person’s words. This too is intuition speaking.

Ask yourself now: What is your intuition telling you about your business, your staff, your clients?

What is your inner voice telling you about how your life is designed right now?

Are you paying attention?

If not, what might it be costing you?

One of my greatest joys is helping people see their true “dreams” and supporting them in stepping into making them a reality.

I know how uncomfortable this can be for many people.  I had dreams for a long time that I refused to honor. I just stuck it out, went from day to day, saying “It’s not so bad. Others have it worse.” My friends and family supported this eagerly, happily. Why? They didn’t want to see me change, try the unknown, go for the gold. They were afraid I’d fail. They were afraid I’d lose everything. They were afraid to acknowledge my dreams  much less go after their own dreams.

I am one of the fortunate ones who made a decision. I put a stake in the sand and said I am going for it no matter what. I don’t want to trade hours for dollars. I am committed to leading  a life filled with passion and creativity and a really big desire to make a difference with others. I am not willing to play small in life – there’s just too much to offer, too much to experience, too many people for whom I want to make a difference.

Why do people play small? The media doesn’t help. They are the fear-mongering masters of the world. And we certainly can make a case for living a life where it’s smarter to play it safe rather than sorry.  This is why I love to watch Jim Cramer - because he’s not only smart but he stands for being savvy, not just playing safe. He wants people to succeed by not falling prey to small thinking and playing small

But how safe is it really to play small? Does having a job keep you safe in this economic climate? How safe do people with JOB’s feel today? Does staying with the same old same old in your business protect it? It’s a recipe for disaster –  the competition can and will  eat you alive if you don’t evolve, don’t  innovate, don’t keep your enterprise edge.

And here’s the biggest reason that playing small doesn’t really work: By playing small you teach your clients,your staff, your children to play small too. It encourages them to resist growing, resist innovating, resist investing in themselves, in you, in your business, and going for more in life.

I have never regretted getting on the court and playing full out.  Have I felt the fear about trying new things, investing in myself, and putting bigger and bigger goals in place? Absolutely.  But I am not willing to let my fear win because the payoff for playing small is a life of less.

Ask yourself honestly: Are you playing small? What has it been costing you?

As many of my Business Fox Bootcamp alumni know, we spend an entire session on the topic of FAILURE.

Most of us have a pretty contentious relationship to failure. We don’t like it, we avoid it, we won’t tolerate it, we resist it.

Rarely do we embrace it.

I know and coach around the importance of not only tolerating and accepting failure, but actually embracing it in order to catapult our business forward.

J.K.Rowling knows this well as she made it the central theme of her commencement address at Harvard.

Thomas Edison knew this well as he attempted is 8999th try at developing the electric light bulb. (He succeeded on the 9000th try).

Michael Jordan knows this well as he has failed at shots more than he has succeeded and still he is regarded as one of the best, if not the best, basketball players of all time.

Today, I lived what I had been coaching. It’s always true – we coach what we need to learn most.

Today, I was unprepared for a presentation and the show had to go on anyway. I wanted to quit, run, take myself out of the game because I KNEW I wasn’t ready and that I would fail. I KNEW I wouldn’t be my best. I KNEW I wouldn’t achieve the results or the positive evaluations I was capable of.

Every possible circumstance occurred to thwart my having a successful presentation: I was scheduled to speak too early, my materials weren’t ready, there were technological computer and printer breakdowns, and I was under stress I haven’t known in a very long time.

In the end, remembering to embrace failure vs. resisting it was not only what got me through but actually helped me achieve a brilliant moment of success.  I decided to accept that I would fail. In that moment, I allowed whatever was going to happen to unfold. I allowed myself to be with my audience, and to share what I know and am passionate about from my heart and from experience.

The feedback to my talk was clearly mixed, but I received one powerful feedback nugget that can transform my entire business strategy. I NEVER could have received  this nugget had I done everything perfectly and successfully.

So here’s to FAILURE – it’s absolutely just the other side of SUCCESS.

As many of you know, I am always touting the importance of networking strategically.  Sometimes, pockets of ingenuity and really wonderful opportunity live much closer to home than we realize.

Check out this sequence of events:

I recently decided to list my Westchester house for sale.  It’s a great house, great area but I  may want to be living in a new area in the next couple of years so I decided to put it on the market. Turns out that you have to stage your house in order to sell it these days. My broker recommended  “house stager extraordinaire”  Penny Weiner. Penny and I bonded at once. Not only is she amazingly talented at restyling and organizing your home, but she is a fabulous connector. You’ll see that connecting people is in Penny’s DNA in a moment.

We started talking and she invited me to a local networking group. At first, I resisted because I generally don’t network locally. But, I really liked and trusted Penny so I went.

What a great group of people! At this event, I met a number of innovative business owners.

Rita Kim is a residential real estate expert. She went off to start her own agency, Global Living Realty www.globallivingrealty.com. Her unique value message: An Eco-Friendly Broker. She helps home sellers feature the green eco-friendly advantages of their homes, helps sellers enhance the green benefits of their homes, and helps buyers who are greenly-responsible find the right homes for them. Great concept, right? And her office is green as well. She creatively thought to put together  a green resource center in her office so you can visit and learn about eco-friendly home ideas whether you are a home buyer or not.  Here’s a photo of Rita and her agent Janie Blanks, who enjoys covering the NYC market.

Also at tonight’s networking meeting were Mike and Emilio Coppola who have started an innovative business, Mobile Dry Cleaners, www.mobile-dry-cleaners.com. They are green-minded and pick up and deliver dry cleaning throughout Westchester via a mobile truck. All orders are submitted and tracked virtually/online so you always know the status of your dry cleaning. And they also do handbag, shoe repair, and alterations. Service to the max, and green to boot (they use eco-friendly cleaning and hanging materials).

Meet Emilio and Mike:

Green-ovation is alive and well with our local entrepreneurs!

And Penny Weiner? We got to talking about social networking and Linked In. Penny is very partial to Linked In? Why (other than the obvious) Her son, Jeffrey, is Linked In’s CEO!  It’s a very small world and inspiring world, folks.