"I keep your 55 Great Icebreaker Questions in my Jeep and review
them before every event!"
Jim Higgins, ProForma Branding Excellence

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Your Prospects Buy From The Heart Not The Head

Your Prospects Buy From The Heart Not The Head

A question from one of my clients, a consultant, came in the other day asking me if I really believed it was worth the time networking online versus networking in person. After all, aren’t relationships really developed in person? Isn’t online a really impersonal, not-so-effective way to develop rapport and connection with people?

I was really glad he asked me that question because I could personally relate to the doubt and uncertainty about how much the online world can really offer true bonding in business relationships.

So let me tell you the story of me and Jayne.

A few years ago, I had a business friend and colleague, a lawyer in a major New York firm. Interestingly, he was really big into Twitter and had a huge following – mostly other lawyers.

Anyway, I noticed one of his followers commenting on his tweets. They were interesting and I started following her. She followed me back.

And then we struck up a Twitter-versation. Since Jayne was in Cleveland and I was in N.Y., we “brought the cloud down closer to the ground” when we  spoke on the phone.

At the time, I was co-hosting a monthly networking event for lawyers and accountants. I mentioned it to my new Twitter friend, never thinking she’d take me up on my invitation to attend.

At the next event, Jayne showed up as a surprise! It was fantastic – we just bonded even more and became great business friends. Take note –  Jayne had the initiative to get herself on an airplane to experience new relationships and opportunity!

Soon after Jayne went to another firm- now as a partner – and we maintained our connection and friendship.

When I moved to L.A., Jayne and I stayed in touch and our friendship grew.

Jayne became a leader in her new firm, launching the Women’s Initiative. She also had a very strong leadership role with the Cleveland YWCA which designed and led a Women’s Leadership Program.

She recommended me as a speaker at both the Cleveland Y and her firm.

It took time, but because Jayne and I followed one another on Twitter, I landed two amazing clients and have the most inspiring friend!

Jayne didn’t recommend me because I had the most advanced letters after my name or credentials. She recommended me because she felt a bond to my values and mission – and I to hers.

Relationships may begin virtually but they can and will turn very personal if you “bring the cloud to the ground.”

People buy from the heart, but they justify their choices from the head. (you can tweet that)

Why? Because despite how logical people think they are, they are driven to act via powerful emotional triggers.

Jeff Walker, online marketing master calls these mental triggers, noting they can become our biggest “weapons of mass influence”.

My friend Linda could sell sand in the desert. I was always amazed by how she did it.

She sold commodity-priced women’s underwear to retail buyers  – a very tough bunch.

But she bonded and became friendly with the buyers. She really liked them. She called them “her girls.” She invited them to stay at her house when they were in town for market buying weeks. She went to dinner and “girl events” with them. They liked her. She listened to them and learned all about their challenges and concerns.

They gave her lots and lots of orders even though her products were not any better or cheaper than the competition.

People buy from the heart,  justify from the head.

There are 3 things to remember about how people buy, whether you connect online or in person:

  1. People believe they are buying from logic, but they are justifying decisions from the deepest part of their hearts. (another way of saying this is they buy what and whom they WANT, not necessarily what they NEED).
  2. You have to earn their devotion before you will earn their dollars.
  3. When they like you they will cut through all kinds of red tape and remove obstacles FOR YOU, and make the path to doing business a breeze.

Mark Vincent Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup For The Soul said it so clearly: “People don’t buy with their head but with their heart. The heart is closer to the wallet than the head”.

So how do you build really solid relationships online?

The exact same principles apply but you start a bit differently.

The beginning connection is the key – whether via email, or tweet, or video, or webinar, you need to:

  1. Give people the feeling that you have relevance to them.
  2. You need to give them a sense that you care about THEM and their interests and challenges in order to create an emotional trigger.
  3. You need to let them know you understand their needs, challenges, concerns – building that emotional bond.
  4. You need to be patient enough not to rush into pitching them – it destroys any emotional bond and trust you have built.
  5. You need to connect the dots – building the bridge from their desired goals  to solutions you have to helping them achieve these dreams and goals.

Linked In, webinars, podcasts, emails, blogs – they are all avenues to connect with great business people. But connecting with them online is only the first step.

You need to open their hearts before their minds will ever let them give your their credit card and business.

Do you have a story or a question about connecting and building relationships online?

I love hearing about your experiences and questions – and so does our business community.

Please share in the comment box below- I will respond to all questions.

Wait, before you go, I have a special business building gift, a free tool for you… Enjoy!

 A Super Simple Niche Selector Cheat Sheet!


10-Min Way To Stay In Touch & Pump Up Sales

It’s that time of year when we naturally stay in touch – with family, friends, clients and colleagues. It feels so wonderful to be in connection with the people in our lives.

So, why don’t we do this year round in our business when it would maximize our results?

Case in point:

My client, Eric is an intellectual property attorney.

He was disturbed because his referrals seemed to be drying up.

I asked, “When was the last time you put a stay in touch campaign out there to your connections?”

He said, “I know, I know. You’re right. But I’m so busy.”

You know and I know:

Busy won’t grow new business for you.

(this is a good one to tweet- just click!)


Eric and I put a put together a simple but powerful STAY IN TOUCH CAMPAIGN. It was comprised of content and other high-value communications, some digital and some more personal, “dripped out” (consistently, regularly sent out at designated intervals) to key referral sources, colleagues, current clients and past clients over the next 6 months.

This sounds like it would take a huge amount of time, right? It is a campaign, after all.

Not so.

Each stay in touch effort took no more than 10 minutes! Less time than drinking a cup of coffee.

The results? Not surprisingly, Eric’s referrals started to flow again.

But so much more happened:

  • A past client engaged Eric for two new matters.
  • A connector friend of his invited Eric to speak at his national conference – an entire audience of targeted ideal prospective clients.
  • A referral source asked him to meet with his top two corporate clients – great new leads in his ideal target network.

However, one former client told him, “I wish you had contacted me a couple of weeks ago. I just hired another attorney.”

When Eric asked him why, he said:

“Because he reached out to me at the right time when I needed the advice.”

All of these results demonstrate how necessary it is to stay in touch with people in your professional life, and the high price when you don’t.

Did a smart stay-in-touch campaign take a little time and thought? Yes, of course.

But look at the payoff.

A consistent Stay In Touch program will:

  • Get you more business with current clients and reactivate previous customers and clients.
  • Help you land more leads with key prospects.
  • Entice new referrals and
  • Open doors to lots of unexpected opportunities in your current business and beyond.

I’d going to make it super easy for you to create your own Stay In Touch/Pump Up Your Leads & New Clients Campaign with a simple 5 steps/10 minutes roadmap.

Just click on the link and you can download your complimentary Roadmap. It’s a smart and easy way to ramp up and stay up in your business in 2014.


How Adele’s Secret Can Make Your Elevator Pitch Sing

How Adele’s Secret Can Make Your Elevator Pitch Sing

Just to let you know…

this will not be an ordinary set of tips on how to write a great elevator speech.

You’ve read enough of those in the past.

That being said,  if you’ve ever been to a networking event, a business conference, pitched an investor, or simply had someone at a party ask you, “So what do you do?”

you know that uncomfortable moment while you quickly try to respond with something brilliant and memorable about your business in 30-seconds  or less.

If so many articles have been written by business gurus about  how to craft a great elevator speech ……


Why are  elevator speeches still so HORRIBLY boring and such a turnoff?

To answer this question…. [Read more…]

The Price Of Impatience

The Price Of Impatience

Last week the world got a lesson on how “patience prevails” – if they were watching.

In Indian Wells, California, at the BNP Parabis Open, a kid from North Carolina, who, at 6’9″ could just as easily be a winner on the basketball court as the tennis court flexed not only his athletic muscles but his patience muscles and won big time.

John Isner upset the world’s number one player, Novak Djokovic (who had a perfect grand slam record last year!) and advanced to the finals in a top championship,launching himself into the top 10 for the first time.

While John beating Novak was exciting, I thought the real interesting story was in the match he had before, the one between him and Gil Simon. Gil Simon is not a seeded player but he is one of the most frustrating for many of top tennis players in the game today. Gil’s strategy? Return every ball, don’t go for flashy winners, and keep his opponents having to play the next ball in the rally.

In essence, he wears his opponents down. He’s got an infinite amount of patience.

The opponent Gil faced right before John Isner was the up and coming young American superstar, Ryan Harrison. Ryan is immensely talented and equally fiery and temperamental. Ryan was so close to beating Gil but lost the match because he lost patience. He wanted to ‘finish each point already’, and Gil forced him into errors that cost him the match.

John Isner, on the other hand, is no stranger to patience. He is already famous for his 11 hour, 3-day marathon tie breaker with Mahut at Wimbledon – which he won. How many people could have withstood even an hour tie-breaker, much less a 3-day one?

So at Indian Wells, John out-patienced Gil Simon, won that match and went on to beat Novak Djokovic, catapulting him into his first finals match at a major tournament.

Do you have the patience to wait out lack of success, or your opponents? How many of us have the patience to keep reaching out to that ideal prospect, hearing no, no,no until we finally hear that yes?

“Patience is a virtue”. We’ve heard it since childhood but take a look at what we actually expect now: instantaneous replies by email, buy with one click, and expecting immediate results in business or we deem that effort a failure.

Where has your lack of patience cost you a big price? Where could you add in a dose of patience and win – in your business, with your kids, with your job, with your clients?

I’m taking a lesson from John Isner’s playbook. I don’t have to be 6’9″ to get that the payoff is available for those who build the patience muscle.